In Real Life(TM) I can only grow a goatee. The sides grow in patchy, and the bit where the hair on my head connects to the hair on my face has an inch of bald spot on either side. Goatee is the best I can do. So you bet your brisket I'm going to go for the most bearded options available! Barring my making a bunny-girl, of course. I'll probably keep an incredibly bearded gentleman around for good measure. Bonus points if I can give him a waistcoat and monocle.