1. Hey Guest! If you're more than just a WildStar fan and want to keep up on the latest MMO news, reviews and opinion pieces then I'd like to suggest you visit our sister site MMO Central

WSC Exclusive - Witty WildStar Competition

Discussion in 'Community News' started by Zap-Robo, Feb 20, 2014.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Azulaalwayslies

    Azulaalwayslies New Cupcake

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Location:
    Oregon
    Zap Robo, any chance you can let me know if I made you laugh even if I don't win? My sense of humor is my whole identity pretty much so I just want to know if I need to go back to the drawing board :D You can be honest if it wasn't funny!
  2. Bowey

    Bowey New Cupcake

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2014
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Q: Why do Chua's only have 2 Pallbearers at their funerals

    A: Because garbage cans only have 2 handles.
  3. Melissa Joan Hart

    Melissa Joan Hart New Cupcake

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2013
    Likes Received:
    6
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Here's hoping for the best.
    Gaddor likes this.
  4. Gaddor

    Gaddor New Cupcake

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2014
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1

    Yarr!! Hope the Witty was Witty 'nuff :up:
  5. mechariferrari

    mechariferrari New Cupcake

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2014
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    "Knock knock"
    "Who's there?"
    "Chua"
    "Chua who?"
    "CHUA' NT SOME FRIES?!"

    Ahahahaha hahaha, hah.........
  6. Xihphor

    Xihphor New Cupcake

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2014
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    So a female Aurin walks into a bar and sits next to a male Drakken. The Drakken looks over and winks. The female looks at the Drakken unimpressed. Looks over at the bartender, and asks "you mind?" hinting at the Drakken. The bartender says "lady, he is always horny."

    How do Auren's hide in the forest?
    They hide behind a T.
    Now they are a Tauren.

    Damnit all, I think of my better jokes after I submit!
    Azulaalwayslies likes this.
  7. Zap-Robo

    Zap-Robo Administrator • King Cupcake

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2011
    Likes Received:
    1,613
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Youngstown, OH
    All right ladies and gents. The winners have been notified, te keys all issued out and now... we get to enjoy all the jokes they've lovingly crafted for us all!

    Enjoy, won't you?

    ---

    A Granok walks into a bar, and tells the bartender "I'll have three beers, all at once." So the bartender gets his order but says to the man
    "Sir, you'd enjoy them better sir if I served them to you one at a time."
    The Granok replies "No, its a tradition. Back on the Arkship, my brothers and I would all go to the bar and have a round together. Separated on Nexus, we still keep the tradition." Touched by the story, the bartender served the rounds, and went about his business.
    The Granok returned for several nights. One night, the Granok comes in and only orders two rounds. The bartender shaken, asks "what happened? Did one of your brothers die? "
    The Granok laughed and replied, "No, I quit drinking!"


    Why did the Chua cross the road?
    To get to minimum safe distance.


    I wondered why her Psy-Blade was getting bigger. Then it hit me.


    Why there is no Granok Espers anywhere? Cause their mind is set in stone, already.


    Two Chuas were sitting in a fine drinking establishment, Chua #1 says “So I was murderizing stuff in Whitevale the other day and I saw this unusual squirg stuck onto a Granok’s head”.
    Chua #2 answers “Oh, what was it doing?”
    Chua #1 replies “Starving”


    For the grand opening of an Exile-run saloon on Nexus, an Aurin woman stopped by to perform a magic show. However, for every magic trick the Aurin did, the barkeep kept yelling out the secret to each trick. After every applause for each trick, the barkeep would yell out things like "OH, IT'S IN YOUR SLEEVE, I GET IT!" and "A MICROMATTER DIFFUSER, THAT'S IMPRESSIVE!", increasingly aggravating the Aurin onstage.

    Upon the end of her final trick and the barkeep quickly ruining it, the Aurin pulled our her pistols, screaming "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU!!" and fired at the barkeep. Seeing the guns, the barkeep ducked behind the bar as a hail of laser fire flew over his head, through the wall, and into a faulty generator, causing it to explode and blow up the saloon.

    When the smoke had cleared, all that remained was the Aurin and the barkeep. The barkeep got up, looked around the empty space, and said "okay, I give up lady, where'd ya hide the saloon?"


    A Rotostar clone, a Chua, and an Aurin are walking up a mountain. On they way up they're all arguing about who is more committed to their allegiance.
    Upon reaching to top the Rotostar decides to prove his commitment. He yells "For the Protostar Corporation!!" and tosses himself off the mountain.
    Not to be outdone the Chua yells, "FOR THE DOMINION!", and pushes the Aurin off the mountain!


    A Chua, a Draken, and a Cassian walk into a bar at midnight.
    The bartender looks up and says, "What is this? Late Night Dominion?!"


    Three people walk into a bar.
    Bartender: "We serve all races here based on their dietary requirements, tell me what you are for service"
    Liara: "I'm an Aurin"
    Bartender: "Here's a carrot juice little lady"
    Dorian: "I'm a Human"
    Bartender: "Good, here's a beer"
    Mondo: "I'm a Chua"
    Bartender: "God bless you, take this Kleenex"


    Why would none of the ladies dance with Durek Stonebreaker? He always "Gnox" them over!


    A pair of Chua bank robbers have committed their latest heist but are picked up during a random street sweep. A Mechari ICI Agent is coordinating the lineup for a witness from the robbery.

    Mechari Agent: "Hello citizen. Please select the robbers you saw from the lineup using your appropriate optical sensory input."
    Witness: "Uh, those are the bank robbers. The Chua."
    Mechari Agent: "Bless you citizen. Please select the robbers you saw from the lineup."
    Witness: "No, the bank robbers they are those Chua."
    Mechari Agent: "Bless you citizen, consult a physician after leaving the station. Please select the robbers-"
    Witness: "The Chua, the Chua!" Witness exclaims.
    Mechari Agent: "Citizen, you have exceeded your daily allotment of Bless-yous. As stated in the Dominion safety handbook you are to be secured away from the general public until your disease can be properly identified and your physical body can be eliminated."

    The Mechari Agent's aide, a Draken, steps forward.

    Agent's Aide: "Sir, the citizen is pointing out the robbers. They are the Chua!"
    Mechari Agent: "Processing. Processing. Conclusion reached. The virus has jumped species. Initiating quarantine and sanitation-by-fire protocols..."

    The Chua robbers hear explosions and screams through the one way glass. One of the Chua snickers and whispers to the other.

    "And that's why we only rob in districts patrolled by Mechari ICI Agents!"


    Between a Human and a Granock, who would be a better date?
    A Granock. They can be a bit boulder, but can also be very sedimental.


    Where should a 500 pound Chua go?
    On a diet


    Two Granok are lost out in Deradune, sandy and starving. They are just about to lie down and give up hope when one Granok begins to sniff the air.
    "Rocko, do you smell that? It smells like.. bacon."
    "Sure, Mason, but can it really be?"
    They struggle up the next sand dune and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
    There's raw bacon, fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon- every imaginable kind of prime cured cubig meat.
    "Rocko, we're saved, it's really a bacon tree!"
    "Mason, maybe it's an esper mirage.. They use that sort of trick all the time, remember?"
    "Rocko, since when did you ever hear of a mirage that smelled like bacon? It's no esper trick, it's a bacon tree!"
    With that, Mason staggers toward the tree. He gets within 5 feet, Rocko skulking close behind, and sure enough a rabid Chua Esper pops out, skewering Mason with many phantasmal knives. Mortally wounded, Mason grabs Rocko's collar and warns him with his last dying breath..
    "Rocko, you were right.. It wasn't a bacon tree... It was.. a ham bush."


    Why did the Granok pee above the urinal?
    There's a downside to being hard as rock.


    Black Hood Operative: "We have an escaped Chua esper on the lose"
    2nd Operative : "Copy that Sir, a small medium is at large!"


    I can't wait until i get to play WildStar! I'm going to be saying do do doo do dooo doo do dooo every time I attack someone! Telegraphs are fun!


    A female Aurin gets on a transport with her baby. The transport pilot says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!"
    The female Aurin goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a Human next to her, "The driver just insulted me!"
    The Human says, "You go right up there and tell him off - go ahead, I'll hold your Chua for you."


    Why do Chua's only have 2 Pallbearers at their funerals?
    because garbage cans only have 2 handles.


    A Granok walks into a bar. It bends.


    Why did the Warrior Chef go to the store?
    He needed Moredesh soap


    A Male Cassian Scientist Calls for a Illium Guard for Help.
    Illium Guard: “How can I help you Sir”
    Cassian: “These Two women are fighting over me”
    Illium Guard: “All the luck to you, I dont see what the problem is?”.
    Cassian: “The Chua is winning”


    Powering up a Mechari gives you a powerful ally, and a friend to boot!


    What kind of shoes do Stalker's wear?
    Sneakers


    Two Chua-Spellslinger are farming and questing in Deradune. One of them suddenly falls to the ground and cant move. It seems he can't breathe and he has a really frosty look in his face.
    The other Chua instantly calls the Medic-Hotline. "OH MY GOD I think my friend is dead, what can I do now?"
    The Medic on the other side of the Phone says: "Calm down, calm down. I can help you. First of all we have to check if your friend is really dead"
    A short moment of silence.
    BZZZZZBRRRREWPEWPEW.
    "Okay, what's next?" the Chua asks.


    Knock Knock!
    Who Th-?
    THE WINDS OF ALERON ARE QUIETED!


    How many Chuas do you need to paint a Wall?
    It depends on how hard you throw them.


    Knock-knock
    Who's there?
    Aurin
    Aurin who?
    Aurin Chua glad to see me?!


    What does a stalker give you for your Birthday?
    Your liver back.


    A Mechari boy points to a Granok and asks, "Dad, what kind of Exile is that?"
    The Mechari father replies, "Sedimentary, my dear bot-son."
    Kataryna likes this.
  8. Azulaalwayslies

    Azulaalwayslies New Cupcake

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Location:
    Oregon
    Big congratulations to all the winners:D Please don't mind as I try to enjoy Wildstar vicariously through you. I posted my submission here as well, hopefully someone out there will find it amusing.

    An Aurin man, his Granok wife, and their faithful donkey are enjoying a drink in one of the Gambler's Ruin's taverns, when in walks a Mordesh recruiter for the Exile expedition force to Nexus. He points in their general direction and barks, "Get your asses to Nexus!" The Aurin looks at him, points to his donkey and slyly responds, "I've only got the one." His donkey looks at him and asks if he really has to go. His owner replies, "Why the long face? I hear it's a utopia there for beasts of burden like yourself." "But I get claustrophobic on shuttles; I will be cramped and barely able to breathe!", replies the donkey. The Aurin points to his rocky wife and says, "I've been sleeping with her for 40 years, I think you can handle 15 minutes."

    Super fun contest, WSC, thanks for putting it on!
  9. Xihphor

    Xihphor New Cupcake

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2014
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Enjoyed this! Will back another day to troll for the elusive key de beta!
  10. Galosha

    Galosha Cupcake

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2013
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Congratulations to the winners. I post my entry there, maybe someone will find it funny.

    Hey, Jphigginbottom, what moves in your breeches?
    Oh, new quest! My communicator on silent.
  11. zekkdarklighter

    zekkdarklighter Cupcake

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2013
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    18
    LOL didn't win, but can see why. very funny all. congrats!
  12. Bowey

    Bowey New Cupcake

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2014
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    I Loved this competition Zap, was fun sitting with my wife racking our brains trying to come up with Jokes. Some very funny entry here, had a great laugh, congrats to the winners and look forward to the next comp. WSC Rules, fans for life, keep up the great work.
  13. mAXZ

    mAXZ New Cupcake

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2014
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Once upon a time in the Northern Wilds there was a man, who was walking into a bar to get some beers. When suddently from nowhere a wild stalker appeared. He asked him:
    - Aurin you on the wrong side of the planet, human?
    The human replied:
    - Settler down, would chua, im just here to get a beer..

    Did my best :D:D
  14. Extatica

    Extatica Super Cupcake

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2013
    Likes Received:
    2,884
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Z-Lab
    These two made me laugh so hard! Specially the latter.....I can so imagine myself doing that :D
  15. DoUbtz

    DoUbtz New Cupcake

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2014
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Ahh me no get beta key :( well here was mine

    A Draken walks up to a bar with a smile on his face. The bartender asks, "What are you so happy about?" The Draken responds, "I just visited my future wife and she didn't even notice me." The bartender stares up at him with a puzzled look. The Draken grins widely and proudly says, "That's how good of a Stalker I am."
  16. Deimos

    Deimos Cupcake

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2013
    Likes Received:
    22
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Location:
    England
    ...My joke is like exactly the same as this one

    Why did the Chua cross the road?
    To get to minimum safe distance

    Mine was, Why did the Chua cross the road? To avoid the exploding Aurin.
  17. gameldar

    gameldar New Cupcake

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2014
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Need more statistics Zap ..

    Like, how many 'A Granok walks into a bar...' jokes were there? Mine was one too.
  18. Zap-Robo

    Zap-Robo Administrator • King Cupcake

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2011
    Likes Received:
    1,613
    Trophy Points:
    113
    Location:
    Youngstown, OH
    Chua sneezing jokes were rife!
  19. Firlonn

    Firlonn New Cupcake

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2014
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Location:
    Derbyshire, UK
    some of those were pretty damn cool! :D congrats to all the winner!
  20. Rivele

    Rivele Cupcake

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2013
    Likes Received:
    25
    Trophy Points:
    18
    most were pretty lame, it looks like whoever picked them got lazy and jsut random picked.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page